As I am approaching 72 years old and also approaching the 2nd anniversary of Sandy’s death, I cannot help but become somewhat retrospective. Hell, if truth be known, and this is my flipping website so I should be able to lay out the truth here. I have known what my greatest regret is for one long, long time.
It is not having children. Pure and simple. No other explanation is necessary.
I will not go down the backstory, save to say I was the one firing blanks. As to why we did not really pursue IVF or adoption, it is my fault: I just ignored the issue more or less until it was a non-issue.
How much it hurt Sandy, I will never know as she loved me so much that she didn’t say much, if anything.
But really, in the wee hours of the night (especially now), I know I wish I and Sandy had a child; be it black, white, Asian, gay, straight, or somewhere in between on the spectrum.
I know we would have loved that child (or children) beyond measure. I know we would have given them as good a life as we could possibly provided. I hope they would have given us a small piece of themselves that would have made us more than we were or are.
Thus my greatest regret!
