You know what I was thinking about the other day? I was thinking about the absolutely worst actors and actresses I have ever seen in modern-day cinema. I know that there are a hell of a lot of them; with more to come. Lord knows, there are more to come.
The first thing I did was remove the Pecs and Tits. Those of Male and Female “actors/actresses” who are in a film for eye candy and are not expected to act. Generally, they deliver what is expected; eye candy and nothing more. But you must admit that there are a whole lot of them, and this eliminates divisions, brigades, and armies of people who have acting credits.
No, I decided to limit myself to people who were hired to do a job of acting. Yes, there was often a level of looks, but they were supposed to be able to act at a certain level. I also decided to limit myself to two males and two females, simply because I want other people to chime in with their choices and I did not want to ruin their fun.
One the Male Side
Klinton Spilsbury – Other than a couple of minor TV appearances using the name “Max Keller”, he has one, I repeat one, starring role in a movie: 1981’s “The Legend of the Lone Ranger“. In fact, this was his last role. He was God-awful. His dialogue was dubbed by James Keach, apparently because it was so awful. The movie and his acting were dreadful. Thus, he is on my list.
Tom Laughlin – Yes, Billy Jack. I loved the movies at the time, but even then, I was completely and totally aware of the fact that the dude could not act. If anything, fame made him inextricable worse. As he developed the character and wrote the dialogue, I suspect that he would make stuff up as he went along and wished to expound on his various causes. Truth be told; his causes and his kick-ass attitude is what made his movies sell. His acting just plain sucked.
One the Female Side
Bo Derek – Bo would have been given a bye by me if she has stuck to “10”. The problem was she did not. She went on to make more movies, starring in them without a single thread of acting ability. Specifically, “Tarzan, the Ape Man” and “Bolero” come to mind. I know I personally walked out of the theater in the former when I got tired of her two or three simpering expressions and what looked like her reading cue cards. No, she doesn’t get a pass because she tried to go mainstream.
Sophia Coppola – an outstanding director. But acting is not her forte. Yes, she did not trip over her own feet in a couple of movies her father directed when she had small roles that did not ask too much of her. But then daddy had an idea! He was making the “Godfather Part III”, one of the most anticipated sequels in years. Francis Ford Coppola had a key role for the Godfather’s daughter, for which he had cast Wynona Ryder (a damned good actress). So FFC decided, it worked with my sister (Talia Shire) it will work with my daughter. So instead of getting an actress with chops, he cast his daughter. She was so bad, she detracted from the movie. I say this as a viewer who, while watching it did not know who the hell she was until i watch the credits: which I purposely did to find out her name so I would never go to another movie she was in. She was such a bad actress; I still find it difficult to view movies she directs.
YOU ARE FREE TO ADD COMMENTS LISTING YOUR CANDIDATES BUT PLEASE – NO NASTINESS, NO SLURS AND EXPLAIN YOUR REASONS
