I do not know when I realized that I was not like the rest of the world; the normal people in society.
I really don’t. But somewhere along the way, I became aware that I was not normal. I dod not make friends. Ironically, the harder I tried the more difficult it became.
The closest I ever got to making friend was in High School. My classmates seemed to accept me, quirks and all! It is the only time in my life that I felt a part of something beyond myself: I was part of the Class of ’69 of Fort Bragg, California.
It did not take long for that bubble to burst. People moved on from that time. College, family, careers, what have you.
The strangest thing was and, sadly, continues to be is that my time in High School still resonates so strongly with me.
My classmates seemed to care for each other, including me. They seemed tp want to go out and tackle the world.
We, as a class, tackled the world in smaller venues and smaller ways than we planned; but I think we made the world a little better because we tried.
But, I must admit, I have never experience the cocoon of friendship and camaraderie that I experienced in High School; over a half a century ago.
This points to my inability to socialize properly. As a reader of this missive, you cannot imagine the pain and loneliness that this lifestyle entailes.
But I am not crying in my beer. I was lucky. Once I left the support of my small town, I would have been doomed; and I almost was!
Far more lucky than most people like me; most people who cannot fit into society because of mental, physical, or psychological issues. I found a person who loved me! Who accepted me as I was; foibles, warts, quirks. and all. It dis not hurt one damned bit that I fell in love with her at first sight.
I met her late in November, 1990. I had to try to be ”subtle” and not ask her to marry me until Valentine’s Day, 1991.
I discovered that; while I never would or could be normal, while I never would or could make the friends like others, while my High School days would always be an anomaly; I could have one piece of normal life!
I found he love of my life — and I was the love of her live!
I am alone now; but I am surrounded by love!
I have had a crappy life by sone standards but I would not trade it for one single minute with Sandy!!!
