I recently had a discussion on Facebook that did not go well. I had a close, close relative who I thought crossed the line in defense of her convictions. It does not matter the issue here nor did it matter in the post as I stated to her.
I told her that her remarks went beyond the issue and became unnecessarily personal and, in my opinion hurtful. Her response, on two separate occasions, was to double-down on her remarks.
My first thought was to remember a lesson I learned in debate training in high school. That was that when an opponent in a debate got personal they had lost it and they had no valid points left to make. In a debate, this was time to hammer home your points because your opponent was on the ropes.
My second thought regarded the old adage of a person’s perception being ones reality. I was taught by my parents that if you offended someone by your remarks you apologized; even if the offense was only in their mind and even if your apology was limited to apologizing for offending them (and not for what you said). And you never, never get personal in an argument. I was under the impression that that was just a matter of the way I was raised.
It turns out I was completely wrong. The person who, given multiple opportunities to make nice continued to forward an aggressive attitude for no better purpose than to justify her previous remarks and not admit possible fault (I personally think she thought she was being subtly clever and got caught) speaks volumes.
The fact that we have a common background and values does speak to nature over nurture.
A fascinating discussion is definitely worth comment. I do think that you need to write more on this topic, it may not be a taboo matter but typically people don’t discuss such subjects. To the next! Cheers!!
This web site is really a walk-through for all of the info you wanted about this and didn’t know who to ask. Glimpse here, and you’ll definitely discover it.