There have been some people who thought that i didn’t know just how bad off you were. Additionally, there are some people who think I was living in denial.
In some ways, I kind of wish either one of these were true. For way, way too long I knew, barring an unexpected illness or accIdent, you would pass long before I would. For the last year and a half it became obvious. And for the last six months or so, it was inevitable that your time on earth was measured in months and not years.
But there was absolutely no way I was going to let you know what i knew/felt. Not because i was lying to you but because i am not God and i would not contribute to your demise by not giving you hope. i grant you, i had that same hope as well.
Realistically, i hoped for one more Cristmas instead of just one more birthday. i am selfish that way.
I knew it was coming. i was not in denial. i just wanted more time. i cherish every minute we had.