I was a lifetime wallflower. I guess I still am.
After i left home for college at 18, I pretty much was on my own from there until I married at 40.
i will not go into details in this post as to the how’s and why’s but I essentially did not make any friends or have any personal relationships during those years. The closet I came to friend were working acquaintances and drinking buddies over the years. But at the end of each day, I went home alone.
When, at 39, I lost enough weight that I was not totally self-conscious I put myself out. As luck would have it I met and fell deeply in love with Sandy. The most wonderful thing was, she loved me as well. We got married a week after my 40th birthday. I still had difficulty making friends but it did not matter. I had the most perfect friend, companion, and love of my life all rolled into one; my beloved Sandy.
When she passed away, and after the initial grief, I now can tell you that the loneliness that I experienced before I met her is nothing compared to now.
