Bicycles are Vehicles

Young people everywhere are constantly champing at the bit to get in a vehicle and ride the open roads.  They generally cannot understand why they have to wait until they are old enough and why they have to learn all those pesky rules and regulations, much less have to prove that they have learned them and have competency before they are allowed on the highways and byways unfettered.  Compounding this, they think that that even when they are finally allowed to get control of a vehicle they are restricted by the cost of the vehicle, the upkeep of the vehicle, and the insurance of the vehicle. In some states, they think they are hampered with laws that state when they can and cannot use the vehicle when they are licensed.

Au contraire, au contraire.  You are not thinking outside of the box.  If by vehicle you are referring to something with a motor, you are right as far as it goes.  However, keep in mind that a bicycle is a vehicle.  A vehicle that is subject to all of the laws and traffic regulations of any other vehicle except when there have been special dispensations and exemptions written into law.

The primary difference is that there are no laws or regulations regarding the operation of the bicycle (see below for only exception) and, while the regulations say that bicycles are regulated they are not.  The truth is that they are de facto unregulated and bicyclist revel in that fact.

 

No Licensing / No Age Limits

Anyone can operate a bicycle.  They do not have to prove proficiency.  They do not have to prove that they understand the rules of the road.  They can ride anywhere they want on any road, except freeways, at any time without restriction.  Moreover, there is no age limit for their operation of said vehicle.

In most jurisdictions, there is a helmet law.  This is generally requiring people to wear a helmet but is usually limited to those under a certain age – 16 in some jurisdictions, 18 in others.  Keep in mind, because there is no licensing or identification requirements you can fake it dude (or dudene).  Just lie to The Man and they got to let you fly!

 

Sidewalks and Crosswalks

Now for the uninitiated, you might think that sidewalks are a no-no for riding bicycles.  Welllll – technically they are.  At least in most jurisdictions, that is.  If you are on a sidewalk you have to dismount and push said bicycle.  But what the hell – no one is looking right?  Go for it!  Pedestrians (dumb-shit non-bicyclists using the sidewalks for God knows what reason) can be used as pylons in your own little obstacle course game.  If you accidentally hit one (or two or three) they will understand, won’t they?  And if not it isn’t like they can take down a license plate or something is it?

 Now for crosswalks you have to use your imagination a little bit.  Suppose you come up along side a motorized vehicle, then cut in front of him/her using the crosswalk, chase a few pedestrians out of the way, and (if you time it right) jump in front of the motorized vehicle when the light changes.  Now it takes a little practice but it can be done!  If you screw up, just flip off the driver of the motorized vehicle, as she/he is to blame anyway.

 

Bicycle Lanes

You probably believe that you MUST use bicycle lanes at all times unless you are turning left.  Once again, technically you are right.  That is what it says in the regulations but, let’s face it, that is just too boring.  Why restrict yourself to doing the predictable.  Now you may have a legitimate issue with people opening doors on you but that is nothing compared to adrenaline rush in running wild in and out of traffic, making your own lanes as you go.  It has to be faster than sticking to the rules.

Another thing to remember as well: just because you are supposed to use the lane to go in the same direction as the regular lane, screw it, you are a bicyclist.  No one is going to keep you from going against traffic.  In fact, if there is no bicycle lane, feel free to ride against traffic any time you want.  After all, even if it is against the law, no one minds now do they.  Hell here in Oregon, there is a famous bicycle race called the “Hood to Coast” that rides against traffic ON PURPOSE.  They have their reasons, somewhat justified, but still it is against the law and the law does nothing to stop them.

Oh, the law says you cannot make your own bicycle lane.  By that, I mean that you cannot ride between lanes – or – ride on the right side of the right-most lane as if there were a bicycle lane when none exists.  But do not despair, go right ahead with this as well; you are a bicyclist, totally anonymous, and rules are just suggestions so screw them.

Do not concern yourself about the requirement to signal your intentions (stops and turns).  Even though you are a vehicle and required to signal, just like any other vehicle, they are haphazard about signally without repercussion so you are safe as well.

 

Stop Signs

It may surprise you that you do not have to stop for Stop Signs (or Stop Lights for that matter).  Except for Boise, ID (as far as I know) it is against the law not to stop.  Once again it is not actually enforced and many people advocate for the Boise scenario that allows the bicyclist to use his or her judgement to determine whether to stop or not.  This is based on the amount of energy needed to stop and start said bicycle.  In the Portland, OR area the transportation columnist of the statewide newspaper and at least one leading lawyer advocates this.  Therefore, you are good stead in scoffing this law.  From personal observation, this includes ignoring Stop Signs on bicycle paths where the sign includes a bicycle logo along with the Stop notification – will wonders never cease.

 

Yielding

Now here is a fun one for a bicyclist.  As a vehicle, a bicyclist must yield to pedestrians.  Also as a vehicle, standard yielding protocol between a bicyclist and motorized vehicles is required.  Screw that.  As a bicyclist the reality is that you can intimidate the hell out of pedestrians and the will get out of your way.  Count on it, and many bicyclist do.  As far as motorized vehicles go, drop your foot to the ground and you become a pedestrian and the motorized vehicle knows it and must yield to you.  Got it?  You do not yield to no man or no woman.

 

Conclusion

First, I know I am being snarky and sarcastic.  For as damned good reason.  They are dangerous and their own damned worst enemies.

I am not oblivious to the real danger that bicyclists experience riding in traffic when motorized vehicles do not pay careful attention to them.  Many is the time that motorized vehicles put bicyclists in harm’s way because they do not pay attention to their surroundings.  The same can be said about placing other drivers in harm’s way as well.  The only difference is drivers of motorized vehicles are surrounded by protective air bags, steel, etc.  They are in a vulnerable situation and it is imperative that the people driving motorized vehicles work diligently to do what they can to make sure that they do nothing to endanger the bicyclist.

When I say bicyclists are their own worst enemies, I mean just exactly that.  Their seeming inability to obey basic traffic laws, let alone all traffic laws make them safe.  There seems to be a disconnect between the desire for “freedom of the road” and self-preservation.

Take the Stop Sign issue.  Generally speaking, a stop sign is placed at an intersection where there is sufficient traffic that, in the opinion of those responsible for traffic control, traffic should stop a check cross-traffic to insure it is safe to proceed.  Bicyclists, and their champions, seem to believe that they are empowered with both observation abilities and reaction times not available to others that will allow them to run the Stop Sign at their discretion.  I know of many intersections where I can see in both directions, left and right, far enough to insure that there is not cross-traffic but I am not given that discretion.  The reason for this is that traffic regulations are not supposed to be discretionary but are supposed to be exacting.

In my travels around my area, I see many bicycles around and about.  Most do not obey the traffic regulations.  The most common violations are riding on the sidewalk, riding the wrong way on bike paths, creating their own bike path, and running stop signs.  In short, they scare the hell out of me and the rest of the traffic.  The only thing predictable is their unpredictability.

I have suggested a license plate to some bicyclist and have been met with cursing, disdain, and contempt.  Why, I honestly do not know.  Other vehicles require identification (hell it helps in recovering stolen vehicles, if nothing else) why not bicycles especially if big bucks are being spent it improving the highways and byways for bicycle traffic.

I am not saying that bicyclists are responsible for their own accidents but I would not be surprised if, were they investigated without a pre-existing bias, this were proven to be true in more cases than are reported now.  I would suggest that instead of blocking traffic at rush hour to protest for bicycle rights that some effort be spent in improving bicycle responsibility.

For every right there should be a responsibility – shouldn’t there?

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