Today’s observations (I am sure I will have more on another day):

• The right lane is not a passing lane!
  • When you see a right lane ending sign, or a right lane turn only, it is not a notification for you to purposely use it as a passing lane. Do you really think you are that flipping smart and that no one else has ever figured it out. No, jackass! Most people realize that humans merge left, not use the ending lane as a passing lane. Just because you do is a recognition of your stupidity, not your intelligence.
  • Now, guess what asshole! You must yield to the person in the left lane. They do not have to defer to your crazy ass antics.
• If the driver of the car you are passing cannot see your signal light, you did NOT signal!
  • Signaling after you are already in the other lane is stupid and only signifies the intelligence of the driver. Get my drift?
  • If you cannot signal the front of the other automobile, chances are they cannot see your taillight.
    1. It is not their job to watch your front signal light on the off chance that you are an asshole.
    2. You cannot trust that the driver’s passenger, let alone rear seat passenger can see your dumbass signal light so they can give the driver a shout out to let you in.
• Do not depend on the brakes of the other driver for you misdeeds.
  • Just because you were successful in cutting in front of that other driver does not make you a good driver, it makes the other driver and his/her brakes responsible for you continued existence.
• What is with the weaving in and out of traffic?
  • There are several reasons for weaving in and out of traffic, changing lanes like a house afire. As far as I can see, they are:
    1. Medical emergency (probably not, thank goodness!)
    2. Bathroom emergency (possibly, but kind of dismissed when you do not hit the first exit).
    3. You are a race car driver practicing on the regular highway.
       • You would not do this and risk losing you professional license over some stupid road accident.
       • Quite frankly, upon observation, you are not that damned good!
    4. You are a lame-ass, dumb-ass, selfish asshole who does not care for anyone else.
  • I bet even you can figure where this one is going. Can I here a Number 4.
• On motorcycles
  • You cannot ride side-by-side. I know, everyone does it. Even the police. The simple truth is that you must run single file – one vehicle (motorcycle is a vehicle, after all) per lane at a time.
  • You cannot weave in and out of traffic using riding between the lanes. I know you know this, so why the hell do you do it. It is not only dangerous, it plays to the stereotype of motorcyclists being assholes.
  • You cannot ride in the bicycle lanes. True story! If you have a motor, no ride in the lane!
    • Same goes for motorized scooters and mini-motorcycles (unless you have a lame-ass jurisdiction that gives you an exemption).
• On bicycles
  • Remember you are a vehicle, so unless specifically designated, you must obey all vehicular traffic laws!
  • You must use a bicycle lane, unless turning left at most intersections, if one is provided. No riding in regular lanes!
  • You can never ride on sidewalk. If on a sidewalk, you must be dismounted and pushing you bicycle.
  • If there is no bicycle lane, you cannot self-designate one. You must stay in designated vehicular lanes. You cannot weave between vehicles and you cannot bicycle between vehicular lane and parked cars/sidewalk.
  • A stop sign is a stop sign, a stop light is a stop light. Even for your lame ass. Just because you think you are more cognizant of the situation than the traffic professionals who deemed that the intersection required a stop light/sign, it is against the law to run said sign/light – just like any other damned vehicle. I know that some jurisdictions allow bicycles to be above the law on this, but it is not the norm, nor is it right.
• On skateboards
  • Unless you are in some lame jurisdictions, you cannot ride your board on the streets – so do not do so.
  • I know you get the short end when it comes to when and where you can ride, but like some many things in life, it is because of the abuses performed by skateboarders.
    • People are not pylons.
    • People are not interference.
    • Handrails and bench seats are not objects for you to practice your skills, and ruin in the process.
    • If you cannot ride on the sidewalk, do not ride on the sidewalk.
    • If you cannot use bicycle lanes, do not use bicycle lanes.

I know that it looks like I am a curmudgeon with all of the above. I probably am. But, at the end of it all, you do not need laws and rules and regulations to know what is right or wrong. You were probably taught that when you were little, even if you were also taught (by example) how to get away with being wrong. All of the above suggestions can be summed up as follows:

DO NOT BE AN ASSHOLE